Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
