So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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