Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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