Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
