its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
