Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
