i jhust puked up my retainher.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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