that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
