At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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