You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
