..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I need moral support for this bender
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
