He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
