i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
