He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
