Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
