no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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