A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
