AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
