I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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