I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
