She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The uberlube is also flammable
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
