and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
