I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
