If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
