he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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