New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
