I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
