Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize