Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
