too bad you live with your parents still
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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