real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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