i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize