I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
