4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
