i permit you to call me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
