You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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