Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
