what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
