Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
