Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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