Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
