Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
