YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
