He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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