I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
