its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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