Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize