so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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