he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's shark week go big or go home
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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