Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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