did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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