can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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