She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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