Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
