Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize