i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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