I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize