So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
