the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm really busy with my period
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