At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
