I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize