Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
