Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
