so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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