I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
