foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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