it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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