Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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