She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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